Stillborn Babies

Pregnancy is a difficult time for any woman, having to undergo the changes of your ever expanding figure. The desperate waiting for your child to be brought into the word safely and delivered to your arms. Did you know that 1 in 3000 pregnancies in the UK end in still birth? Many of us can only think of the night mare of this happening as the outcome of such a special time, but for those women whom have had to experience this is terrible.

How can you look out for the signs of a complication during pregnancy? Often these things go unnoticed however after the 3rd month you will be familiar with your baby’s movements and by month 5 where you are well into the second trimester your baby’s movements will become more and more prominent.

Should you experience a sudden decrease in movements, then don't be afraid to go to your local maternity ward (in the UK your pregnancy notes will have an emergency contact number which it’s best calling whilst you’re on the way so that the staff at the hospital are ready for your arrival.

Also by keeping up with regular visits to your midwife and not skipping doctor’s appointments will help to decrease your chances. The sad thing is that many of the still births that happen in the UK, no cause is ever found for them. Also after your 2nd trimester in pregnancy you have to legally hold a funeral for your still born child.

How do I know? because I was one of the statistic's that it happened to , I underwent a normal pregnancy felt fine didn't get sick ill , had no warning signs until one evening whilst watching the TV I noticed that there were no movements from the baby. I had an intuition that something was wrong and called the hospital right away.

I remember the journey there on the way in the car hoping that I had been mistaken, until we go the ward where the Dr would check me with an ultrasound I was still hanging on to the hope that there was movements and the bay was just asleep. As soon as the dr put the ultrasound scanner on my stomach and I looked to see the monitor I heard no heartbeat. That's when I knew my baby was an angel and she had passed away before she had the chance to meet her parents.

My baby was due on the 28th of October; she died on the 3rd and was delivered with a natural birth on the 6th October 2001. That was the worst part I mean having a miscarriage is still a terrible thing to take place but at least then you don’t have to go through the whole labour and then at the end have nothing to show for it. I did ask the staff at the hospital if I was able to have a caesarean but they advised that a natural birth was the best way to go about it. I was given morphine for pain relief and the midwife in the delivery room took hand prints and foot prints of my angel for us to treasure.

After that we were allowed to sit in a private room and say our goodbyes before our daughter was taken for a post-mortem to see if they could determine the causes of death. I underwent a hell of a lot of blood tests and they all came back ok. The worst part of it was we never found out the cause of death. Instead of having a baby to show for my 9 months of pregnancy I was left with the funeral arrangements and the sheer hope that I would again be pregnant and have a healthy child.

In the UK you have to register the birth of your stillborn child and also get a death certificate, in order to plan a funeral. There is also a charity called SANDS that are trained to help mothers and fathers with the loss of their child. I never sought help and depression is something that I don't believe in, anyway I remember at the time looking online to see in sheer desperation if there were any other women that had this happen to them and if they had had (normal) babies after.

You kind of feel that you may never be able to give birth or as if something was wrong with you , well I am pleased to say I went on to have 2 wonderful children with a 3rd on the way. I won’t lie and say that each pregnancy gets easier because you always have that what if in the back of your mind and it’s very stressful until the end. I always ask to be induced out of the fear that my body can’t take a full term pregnancy and if I leave it too late the baby will pass away. Well if you are going through or have one though this (or even know someone that has experienced this then hopefully this article will help).

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